As the World Turns!

I saw Sarah Palin in the Greta Van Sustren show and I listened to the interview. The woman uses the word “crap” and her trademark phrase is, “You betcha!” How can you not love her for it? She’s a down home woman that speaks down home values. Go, Sarah Barracuda!

What’s up with Martha Stewart? First, she gets catty about Rachel Ray and now Sarah Palin. Loosen the straps Martha. It’s cutting off your circulation. What’s the matter Martha? Are there too many other women in the world to suit you, or just too many conservative women?

Did you see the new Barbie dolls from Mattel? They now have a “Burkah Barbie and a Sugar Daddy Barbie”. What’s next Mattel? Are you going to have a Jihadi Ken wearing a white robe, a checkered headband and carrying an AK47?

Barack has taken three months to consider sending additional troops to Afghanistan at General Stanley McCrystal’s request. He says he needs time to consider an “exit strategy”. It’s a good thing that that wasn’t needed in WWII, isn’t it? We might have lost and all be speaking German now.

Will the Jihadi Ken be tried in civilian court in New York City and be read his Miranda Rights? Well, what say you Eric?

The progressives want to levy a new 5% tax on the wealthy to cover the cost of the war in Afghanistan. Are the Jihadis only attacking the rich in this country? Is there a America for the rich, another for the middle class and another for the poor?

The progressives have declared that Sarah Palin is the devil disguised in a dress.  I thought Barney already had that role, but apparently not.

The Congressional Budget Office has given up on trying to calculate the cost of the health Care bill and called for assistance from the trajectory scientists at NASA. The first Super Cray Computer at NASA over heated and melted down when trying to figure the cost of the federal budget despite the liquid nitrogen coolants.

Barack Obama’s approval rating keeps dropping. Yes he can! Yes he can! The White House claims that the polls are not fair because the Chinese Red Guard were not polled.

Khalid Sheikh Mohammod will be allowed to tell Americans what is wrong with America. Anita Dunn, Ron Bloom, Van Jones, Sean Penn and Jeneanne Garafalo have all bought box seats to the event.

As the world turns.

It’s Only Money!

The government wants you to think of Uncle Sam this year for the Christmas Season and donate some money to them. It seems that Washington cannot print enough monopoly money to keep up with the party of the progressives spending habits. So, how about it, do you think you can spare a little extra to help out Barack, Harry and Nancy with their needs?

Every man ,woman and child in the country already has a $40,000 debt as their share of this year’s national spending. So, if you are the head of household in a family of four, and you want to do your part to help Barack, the head of the American household, put together the  national budget, you should immediately make out a check for $160,000 and mail it to Timothy Geithner. Only a small portion of the money will go to ACORN, the SEIU and the various pork projects of the beltway elite.

As an additional method of raising money the White House is thinking of auctioning off, “A Weekend at the White House with Barack” vacation to the highest bidder. The winner will spend the weekend with Barack practicing in front of a TV prompter, and be allowed to sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom provided that Barack can persuade Andy Stern to sleep on the couch for the weekend. The package includes a dinner with Barney Frank at a restaurant of the winner’s choice. To make things even more authentic the House of Representatives Ethics Committee will investigate your winning bid and then make the investigation disappear. To cap the vacation you will receive instructions on how to evade your taxes for at least a decade. A lap dance from Nancy, or Barney, will be at an additional charge.

Another idea to raise money is being considered at the highest level. This would be a “Global Warming Expedition” with Al Gore as your guide. The expedition will include a tour of a Canadian polar bear’s territory, first class seats aboard Al’s personal jet, and a certificate from Gore allowing you to use the internet he invented for a period of five years.

So, seriously, send your check to Washington and trust that the money will go to a worthy cause. As the Democratic Party majority would say, “It’s only money!” Try to think of all those jobs you will save in the 5,118 District of Puerto Rico. Barack will thank you. Nancy will thank you. Harry will thank you. Bill and Hilary will thank you. Khalid will thank you. Sean Penn will thank you. The Nobel Committee will thank you.

All the Latest

Well, Harry bought Louisiana and we are off to see the wizard. The health care will now go to the senate floor for debate. Harry hugged and kissed all his progressive brothers and sisters on the cheek in celebration. The Republicans were not invited to the orgy because they refused to wear togas and laurel leaf wreaths.The gay blogs continue to bash Sarah Palin and Carrie Prejean. The words “slut”, “bitch” and “whore” have now become the most used words in the English Language. Shakespeare was right when he said, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

Obama visited all the major countries of Southeast Asia and bowed to everyone including the doorman at the Forbidden City. Obama is rumored to have said that the Chinese Forbidden City was much more beautiful than the American version (Washington, DC). Obama asked the Chinese if he could buy the Great Wall so that he could put it between himself and Fox News. He offered one trillion for the wall but the Chinese refused to sell citing the credit rating of the United States.

Eric Holder was asked by a congressional committee if Osama bin Laden was captured in Pakistan would it be necessary to read Osama his Miranda Rights? The Attorney General seemed frustrated and said that he could not answer until he consulted his attorney. Khalid Sheikh Mohammod is rumored to have sent Holder a letter in which he says that he prefers Chicago’s Deep Dish Pizza to the thin crust served in New York City. He also requested to have Jerry Seinfield autograph his indictment.

The young apparatchiks that listened to Obama speak in China are disappointed the they did not receive copies of the Progressive Manifesto before the speech and that Anita Dunn and Ron Bloom were not at the event to recite quotations from the venerable Chairman Mao. The communist party leadership calmed the young party faithful by promising to have Van Jones and Andy Stern at next year’s gathering.

Nancy Pelosi has asked the National Organization for Women to help Bart Stupak rewrite his amendment for the health care bill. They expect the rewrite to outsell Palin’s “Going Rogue” on the bestseller list.

Timothy Geithner is receiving a lot of heat in Washington because the Stimulus Bill doesn’t seem to be working. The “saved jobs” from the districts that do not exist and the monies that have not been distributed yet are challenging even the Democrats ability to suspend disbelief. However they do think that the arithmetic used by Geithner was useful when it came to figuring the cost of the health care bill.

Al Gore has informed the scientific community that the center of the Earth has a temperature of 1,000,000 degrees not the 5,000 degrees that was previously claimed by the scientists. Mr. Gore says that he is willing to receive his next Nobel Prize over the internet which as he points out, he invented.

I will see you all in my next post with updates.